Is That Johannesburg?!

Everyone says that Joburg is easy to navigate. Indeed, the roads are flawless, smoothly paved out to the far reaches. And we have an atlas. I don’t think I’ve used a real atlas since 10th grade geography class, but we refreshed our skills and have put it to frequent use. The problem is, the street names on the map do not correlate with the signs on the street, or with names people know. The names of everything have been gradually changed to mark a fresh start after apartheid. But not everyone knows the new post-apartheid names (which are frequently pre-apartheid, non-English, non-Afrikaans names), and not everyone remembers the old names. Furthermore, street signs are placed haphazardly, backwards on a post or in tiny font on a curb halfway down the block.

One day recently we were lost again, driving in circles and perfecting the art of the left-handed stick-shift u-turn. All of the sudden we looked up and saw the city skyline outlined just ahead of us. This was only remarkable in that we had been under the impression that we were very far outside the city, and aiming for a suburb in the polar opposite direction. Let’s just say we’ve put a lot of kilometerage on the car thus far, and have gotten to see some (in)famous areas of the city where tourists, and residents, don’t go without a very good reason. But between my (clearly inept) navigational skills and Kemi’s experience with manual transmissions, we have begun to streamline our travels and remind ourselves to turn where the street should be, and pay no attention to signs that are invariably misleading.

So far in Johannesburg, sadly, I’d say we have spent the most time in malls – fancy malls, strip malls, pedestrian malls, practically out of business malls. They are the only location we can find for internet cafes, light lunches, and "aircon." Regardless of level or location of the mall, there is a standard issue of stores at each one. Otherwise you would not know you were in South Africa, except the up and down escalators being switched. The music is almost exclusively American, both the latest hiphop and R&B and ballads of the 80s. Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson still have a huge presence, and I've enjoyed reliving my first awkward dances while jamming to "End of the Road" on more than one occasion.

A theater-sized screen in the food court at one of the malls, showing the provincial soccer league.

Everywhere we've been is oddly both very diverse and very segregated. We have yet to see any interracial couples or groups (except us). People are very interested in us and our accents, and especially Kemi, yet are hesitant to ask where we are from for fear of offending. One lady told us that wealthy blacks in South Africa tend to put on American accents, which may explain the negative reaction some people have had when Kemi does not respond to them in Zulu. On the other hand, we have seen no instances of real racial tension, and certainly we have felt comfortable and welcome everywhere we've been in public.